There is so much to be said for the dedication and selflessness that characterizes Military Spouses.  Army Community Service celebrated Military Spouse Appreciation Day on 10 May 2013 by recognizing and celebrating the resiliency and adaptability that our spouses display every day of their lives.  I took a few moments to reflect on the patience and dedication of the spouses around me here at ACS and realized that every single one of these spouses are unsung heroes; they are the behind the scenes during PCSing, they are the single parents during deployment, and they are oftentimes the glue that keeps communities, relationships and families together.  I took a moment to sit down and interview five spouses here at ACS and became humbled by the stories they shared with me and the unyielding dedication they continuously show to their spouses and to the Army.  I’d like to share with our readers some of their thoughts and stories. Before I share their responses, I was surprised to find that each spouse had a similar response to each question, and I was impressed by the clear bond and solidarity that spouses share.

My first question to each of the spouses was, as an Army spouse, what do you find to be the most rewarding and the most challenging for you and your family?    What each of the spouses found challenging is the difficulty in transitioning and having to be flexible enough as an individual to be able to meet the demands of deployment, single parent responsibilities as well as supporting their spouses’ missions and staying connected during separation.  It was easy for each spouse to describe what was rewarding for themselves and their families; they explained that it was empowering to know that they could manage household responsibilities and rise to the challenge of relocation.  Each spouse stated that because moving was fairly frequent, it is easier for each of them to meet new people and adapt to new environments, which inevitably creates resiliency in themselves and their children.  A few of the spouses also described the intense patriotism they feel as a result of being an Army spouse; being around those who serve and knowing they are supporting those individuals.

 

Each spouse agreed, without their support systems, coping with deployment and separation would have been exponentially more difficult.  Each spouse described how they relied on other spouses in their communities to cope with being alone, the stress could be unbearable.  Then it hit me, there it was again! Solidarity in the Military community; the indoctrination of similar values, experiences and culture that brings spouses together and provides a safety net of individuals who understand and are willing to pitch in during the good times and when life becomes challenging.  One spouse described, “…making friends is never easy when you move around, but it’s necessary.”  She went on to describe how much she depended on the other spouses in the community for a shoulder to lean on, for a babysitter, and most importantly, as a friend.  As the spouse I was interviewing reflected, she shared that regardless of moving or PCSing somewhere new, friends that she made along her journey as a spouse have continued to be lifetime friends and were present when her children were born and come and have visited her children as teenagers. 

As I wrapped up each interview, I had to ask, what advice would you give a new Military spouse?  I was curious as to what insight they could offer, and how it reflected the stories they had just shared.  One spouse highly emphasized the importance of Military Knowledge (formerly known as Army Family Team Building Level 1).  She stated that this course helped her understand Military culture; it helped her understand the language, symbolism and relationships that officers and enlisted soldiers have with each other.  I’ve also taken this course, and I became knowledgeable about ranks, uniforms, acronyms and so much more.   I learned a lot and can understand why she recommended it.  Another spouse advised, “Build your support system, and use it before the proverbial ship sinks.”  I soon realized I was beginning to see a pattern; resiliency and strength come from community solidarity and support.  On a similar note, another spouse recommended Family Readiness Group, which is a command-sponsored organization of family members, volunteers, soldiers and civilian employees associated with a particular unit. They are normally organized at company and battalion levels, and fall under the responsibility of the unit's commanding officer.

I rarely share this about myself but in commemoration of Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I have to toot my mom’s whistle too.  For a while, my mother was a Military spouse.  She supported my father who was enlisted in the Air Force and she lovingly dedicated her life to him as he was transferred to various installations.  Eventually they were stationed at the Air Force Base in Incirlik, Turkey and while they were there they decided to adopt my sisters and I from a Turkish family and begin a family of their own.  As the Persian Gulf War erupted, my father stayed behind in Turkey as active duty during Operation Desert Storm and the rest of my family was all evacuated back to the United States.  During this time, I can remember some of the key qualities that the spouses I interviewed described come out in my own mother; heightened independence, resiliency, and a need for her to step up and be the glue that held our family together even though our father was an ocean apart from us. 

I remember my mom as a superhero during this highly stressful time, and I know that each spouse I interviewed is a superhero in their families and communities.  It’s never too late to say thank you and appreciate the hard work and dedication of our Military Spouses.  They truly are the rocks of our Military families.  Thank you to each and every Military Spouse for dedicating their lives and committing to the adventure and journey that is the Military.  If you are a spouse and are interested in getting involved either by volunteering or are interested in an Family Readiness Group or PCS assistance, feel free to reach out to us here at ACS, 703-696-3510 and we will always be happy to help you!